Spirituality

My last post was about taking care of me. Part of taking care of me is revealing, and nurturing, that spiritual side of Andrew.

As I've mentioned in several posts already, I grew up in an extremely conservative and religious environment. I remember the Pastor/Preacher up front crying once talking about how Jesus died for our sins and that we are all sinners. Even as a child I knew there was something off about this.

My mom would make my siblings and I go to church (with good intentions), but she would let us bring something to keep busy - I would bring a puzzle book. I remember sitting there doing my puzzle book and listening to this guy talk and I just thought it was so pathetic. What was the point of church? Why go somewhere to learn about how you're such a horrible person?

I'm no longer going to let my past negative influence of religion affect me today. Today I want to explore who Andrew is spiritually. What speaks to me when I silence past influences, present distractions and just truly listen to God - as I believe God is simply a powerful energy which guides us all as individuals and as one collective unit.

I haven't heard God within me speak yet... or maybe I have and just didn't recognize it as God. However, I do believe as I continue meditating and clearing out the clutter in my mind, I will feel/hear the messages I need to feel and hear.

This morning I did decide to try out this spiritual place called Center for Spiritual Living (CSL). There were parts that I didn't really feel (parts about churches asking for money never sat well with me) but parts that really spoke to me.

I don't believe there will be a church or spiritual location that is perfect for what I feel is true in the world. However, if I can go somewhere (like CSL) and receive some personal growth from it then it has served it's purpose for me.

What did I learn today?

Law of Cause and Effect:

The Reverend spoke about the law of cause and effect. As she said, the Buddha simply states, "when this happens... that happens." Many of us often think of cause and effect on a surface level. However, she spoke of the cause coming from our concious. She spoke of people having a "success conciousness," where this concious is programmed to have the effect of success in their life.

When looking deeply inside, where does my concious stand? How is it effecting my life? And, how do I change it so the effects will be positive? Questions I'm beginning to ask.

Law of Attraction:

The law of attraction states that I will attract whomever and whatever situation fits my current state of consciousness.

I have always said that we can really tell a lot about people from who their friends are. I have some pretty cool friends and I want to continue to meet new guys and gals and really focus on the quality individuals. However, I question if there are some people in my life whom I call "friends" but it's time to let go of our connection. Perhaps I need to let go.

Law of Attention:

What I give my attention to will increase. Giving my attention to the pain that Jason has left and the pain that we no longer share a life together will keep that pain around and increase within me.

However, giving attention to what works in my life will bring more working in my life. I truly believe this.

What is working in my life? Although this past week was terribly difficult there is still a lot I can see that is working:

- I have this great condo. A space that I really love and feel comfortable in.

- I have a great car. It's paid off and is new so it doesn't break down :-)

- I have good friends and close relationships with many family members.

- A minor thing, I got a little storage area in my condo building, which is perfect because now I can store away things I don't use often and have more empty space in my condo.

- My personality. My smile. I know this past week I haven't been smiling as much as I used to however, there have been some moments of laughter and smile. I caught my smile once as I was walking by the mirror and thought to myself "I'm coming back." I just LOVE to smile, it feels good.

- I was accepted to Seattle University for Graduate school in Community Counseling. I start this summer and am very excited about that.

- I have a great circle of friends and family whom love and support me.

Quite a bit working for me.

Law of Compensation:

As you give, you will receive. As you breath out, you will breath in.

I love volunteering at the King County Crisis Line. I love to give back my time and just sit there and listen to folks who need a listening ear. I truly believe giving back to my community is important for my soul.


This is what I got out of the talk at CSL today. I'll be bringing a new friend to the service next week and perhaps, if I feel like I get something out of that one, I'll write another blog then.